Alternate Vision

While attempting to cleanse my hardrive and purge the non-sensical trash that I've accumulated over the years, I stumbled upon an old document that brightened up what was an otherwise boring day. I thought I'd share Anjalli Ravikumar's tales of travel and work through the south of India (Kerala and Tamil Nadu) with the blogsphere. I sincerely hope she will not take offense to me publishing her work on the net without her consent. Oh well, enjoy...

Kaadhal idha dhan idha dhan……….

As I woke up to Adnand Sami’s heavily anglicized superhit number from Kollywoods’ latest superflop- “ Boys”, there was no sense of disorientation whatsoever. My Volvo A/C Sleeper Bus fitted with state- of the art in-bus entertainment technology had reached it’s destination- The Koyembedu Tamil Nadu Omni Bus Stand . The swarm of auto drivers waiting for the assault only served to remind me that Kerala was a whole state away. Sigh.

No more would I ride through rubber plantations on my distributor salesman’s Kawasaki Bajaj. No more would the waiters in restaurants serve me hot drinking water in the seven colours of the rainbow. No more would I get couriers addressed to ‘ Madam Anjally Revikumar’. No more would I cross bridges over backwaters on my way to work. No more would I find chunks of pineapple in my paneer butter masala…….

Although I didn’t have too many friends in Kerala, I loved every inch of what I saw of it (and ate). It’s hard to imagine why millions of Malayalees live in the Gulf when you’re a tourist in Kerala. The ‘Gulfies’ have bought up all the hot waterfront properties, built sprawling mansions in the middle of nowhere and even started chains of ‘Dubai Shoppes’ for when they finally return. Till that dreaded day (when Kerala will have many times more people than coconut trees), I hope I get a chance to go back.

It’s not just the fact that it’s more beautiful than all the pictures in the resort brochures. It’s the fact they have clean, open, airy buses that always have place to sit and are rarely seen at an angle of 30 degrees to the road. It’s the fact that everyone enjoys a certain minimum standard of living. It’s the fact that the toilets in the wayside restaurants are clean enough for me not to have to hold my breath for one minute and ten seconds like I usually have to. The fact that the average Malayalam movie plot requires the viewer to have a brain.

Here’s a little bit from my first real sales experience in cashew country – Quilon . For 3 weeks post Onam , I was posted in Quilon where an executive of ours had quit to join Onida. My job was- ‘to close the sale of 3000 appliances in three weeks no matter what.’ With this brief brief in hand , I landed up at Whirlpool’s distributor’s office in Quilon- Quilon Radio Service. QRS is owned by a family that originally hails from Kovilpetti in neighbouring Tamil Nadu. Their cost consciousness has ensured that roughly half the staff members including the 65-year old diabetic manager are from Kovilpetti so thankfully, language was never an issue for me. The organization structure of QRS is as follows- Mani Annacchi lords over 5 salesmen- 2 for Whirlpool, 1 for Nokia ,2 for Philips, 3 drivers, and 3 office girls, 1 watchman and several others whose job role is not specific. It’s a very flat organization. But as with any, there are ‘seniors’ and ‘juniors’ and ‘relics’ that included the toothless, bespectacled Dalghat Kaka who must be close to a hundred. He is the Godown-in Charge and is the sweetest relic about the place. Another special character is Saluja Madam who has a ‘Malayalee –with –a-cold’ accent to –die- for.“ Lekshmi Elegrigals und Elegdronigs dodal oudsdanding iss egual to seero”. Annacchi’s Personal assistant number three was still in training when I landed up. It took me three whole days to stop giggling everytime I called the office from a dealers place at 12 in the afternoon only to hear Jayalakshmi answer the phone saying- “ Goodeevening QRS”. Radheesh and Sadheesh, my Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee also doubled up as my ‘sales boys’ and I was their- I’m- not- sure- what. My chief task was to motivate them to go out and lay their lives down for Whirlpool’s cause .I don’t know if it was because I was the first lady/woman/girl to ride pillion on their bikes or if I actually said something highly inspirational, but whatever it was, it worked. We booked orders for 3011 Whirlpool Applainces and treated ourselves to Alleppey fish biriyani to celebrate the momentous occasion.

Not that every meal wasn’t an occasion. Fish Biriyani, Meen Curry, Crab Masala, Neimeen Fry, Shrimp Fried Rice, Prawn Chemmeen and Trivandrum Chicken Corner’s coconut-oil–fried Chicken and ‘Chappatty’. Malayalee food has turned many ‘Puttars’ like me into very happy carnivores. My visit to Varkala- God’s Own sunkissed seaside getaway, left me tanned and in love. When there’s Kerala- why go elsewhere?